14 March 2008

This or That?

We have a predicament. I have this gorgeous sock yarn, but I think it's too pretty to be relegated to my feet. Other pretty sock yarn, sure, but this is the yarn that "launch'd a thousand ships". It inspired me to make it hump a skein of tweed in order to see if we could breed them...

Colinette JitterbugPractice

Should I make Eunny Jang's
Endpaper Mitts like Lisa did, but without the colorwork? Or shall I knit a shorter version of Veronik Avery's Lace Ribbon Scarf? I'm leaning towards imitating my friend, Magda by throwing a jaunty scarf over my shoulders this spring, but am still indecisive.

I walked home from work as a way to get exercise, but also to reflect. I've been feeling kind of stuck and in limbo, but I think if I just let it go, everything will work out. Nothing major, my friends, just a case of feeling "blahhh". You know?

I will say that the spring air on my face, walking past the dog park (except for heart pangs), just feeling my legs working, finally seeing some blossoming trees on Kelly Drive, and my favorite Tupac album blaring across the street, were excellent remedies.

I have to walk past what I would refer to as a colony of homeless people who live by the Rodin Museum. I'm intrigued by them, and think of them every day on my way to and from work. Is that strange and voyeuristic? Heart pangs there too, but I don't want those ones to go away. That could have easily have been my brother, if life had taken other turns. I'm rambling tonight, but this blog is also for me, and I'll allow it.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say tonight, but I'm inclined to keep typing. I usually try to keep it positive and light hearted here, with classy occasional references to "humping", (which I regard as the silliest word ever). Part of that is because I do try to stay positive in my daily life and put things into perspective.

My thought on life is that there is always someone better off, and worse off. However, that doesn't mean that your problems aren't legitimate. Sometimes you need to let yourself process whatever feeling that may be, but you also need to move on with your life. Of course, sometimes we need help, and I encourage anyone to seek it.

I remember when we were kids, we'd be devastated after returning from visiting our childhood hero, Uncle Denny. My mom would finally say, "You can cry for five more minutes, but then you need to move on!"

One of the reasons I don't want to move back to Florida is because it is hot all of the time. I love the change of seasons, and being able to look forward to summer when I'm freezing my arse off, and appreciate fall and spring. Just as I wouldn't want to only be happy all of the time. Otherwise, how would we learn and grow and find that fire in your heart to strive for better things?

I want to make sure that I stay true to myself, and don't always put an unattainable pretense of my life up here, without being a cranky whiner. I need to remember not to compare myself to what others have accomplished in their lives, and just worry about my damn self!

I do feel blessed, and am so grateful for the things I have, my brain, my loved ones, my friends, and you people still reading! But there are also things that are stressful, sad, aggravating and real.


Phew. A weight has lifted, and I feel like myself again. Thank you for listening, truly.

Now excuse me while I go on a hot date with Mike to the laundromat, since we don't have a washer and dryer. But we do have each other, hot running water and indoor plumbing. I guess I can deal with that, even if I do have to turn on said hot water through an access panel in the wall...

10 comments:

Kat - Taylor Made designs said...

I wish I could give you a big old hug Mariss!

I really loved your post. Because you know, life isn't always rosey and sadness does creep in, and life, well, sometimes it does suck :) and it's ok to say so.

You have a wonderful attitude and spirit and they always shine through your words.

I wish you a wonderful, warm, and peaceful weekend with mike :)

Anonymous said...

Hey Muchacha-

I understand, and the sun and spring always help. I'm trying to shake off some lingering blahs, so throw on a loud beautiful scarf and strut your stuff. Lots o'hugs...

Magda

Nic said...

My vote is for the lace ribbon scarf, fo' sure!!

I like that you keep it real, because even people with bright bubbly personalities have their down and "blah" moments. (I would not classify myself as bubbly, but I have other friends who are!)

I, too, cannot wait for Spring around the corner! Brent and I were just talking about and imagining taking Asher to the beach this summer! He will likely eat some sand, yum!

Oh, and I also don't want to move back to FL :)

Lisa said...

Cara mia, thank you for putting into words what so many of us are feeling. I am so thankful that I have a friend like you to help me shake off the blahs and the icks!

What to do with the Jitterbug? That skein and it sexual antics have kind of reached legendary status. How do you follow up yarn p0rn pics posted on the internet?

XOXO

L

EmilyG said...

Mariss,

You are awesome and I'm glad to know you. Melancholy can be a very productive place to be sometimes. Glad you shared yours with us.

Em

EmilyG said...

Oh, and I'd definitely vote for the lace ribbon scarf!

Loren Witcher said...

wow!

what a great blog! i found you through katyart.

good stuff!


loren

noelle said...

That yarn is stunning. A scarf from it would be faaabulous. I really kind of want to see it's tweed babies.

andrea said...

oi the case of the blahs seems to be in full effect in philadelphia. i think i had a similar experience this weekend. thankfully it's getting warmer and sunnier and perhaps the blahs will go away for us both.

i'm glad to know i'm not the only one feeling lost in limbo these days.


that yarn is lovely, btw.

Annemarie said...

Been there before, Mariss, but never was able to express it so eloquently.
Good for you.
love, Aunt Sis
Maybe I didn't live in the City of Brotherly Love long enough!!!!