Disclaimer: Mushy post with photos of gorgeous yarn thrown in. If you can't handle the emotions, just look at the pretty photos instead, from our recent "knit-out" in Rittenhouse Square. (wink)
In the time since my brother has been gone, I've noticed that I have subconciously categorized my life into "before" and "after". Things that have happened and people I knew before he died, and events and friendships I've made after. Knowing there would be an awkward moment where they would ask about my family, and I'd have to test out what to say. That was in the beginning though, it's much easier now. I now know how to put the person at ease, but to not diminish the loss.
That was not the case with my blog. It spanned both my old world, and the strange new place I was still working my way around. My blog became my safe place. I was able to sort my feelings out, to figure out how my life was different, but also a way to to look for the positive in each day. When I couldn't write about him in my personal journal, because it was still too raw, I was able to write about it on here. By doing that, I could alleviate my fear that by not writing it down, I would forget him. I was also able to just talk about it, and not worry about making people feel weird.
And then I found when I wrote about it, I received such unexpected support from acquaintences, old friends and people I had only met through the internet. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. It was a place where I could speak, and people were comfortable with that. I didn't have to worry if they didn't want to listen, because I knew that they had the choice to not return or read.
I never guessed I would create real friendships with people across the country based on our similar senses of humor, aesthetics and design sense. People who have made me laugh, brought on tears with their kind words, stories and support, and who have brightened my days.
I also never expected to make such wonderful friendships with the women in my knitting circle. Let me tell you, the first time I went, I was terrified, and the only person that spoke to me nearly scared me off. Thank God I went back! I would have missed out on so much, mainly pints of pear cider, alpacas and many brunches. I can't tell you how important these ladies have been to my Wednesdays, or to my daily life in Philadelphia.
So thank you, friends and crafty community, for being so good to me.
I'm also happy to show off the 300 grams of Koigu mill-ends I treated myself to. This was a combination of my economic stimulus check, my Rosie's 20% coupon, the yearly mill-end opportunity and the result of bragging about the lowly $36 I had spent at Sheep and Wool.
In honor of my anniversary, I'll do a meme that I was tagged to do from Yarn Therapy. It asks for 5 things about myself, I know I've done this before, but I'm a sucker for surveys (wink). You can do it if you want (unless you're Susan, since I know about your feelings on memes!).
1. One of my dreams is to own a house on a bit of property, about an hour away from a big city, with a barn. The barn will have a woodshop, and a studio for Mike to paint. My studio may be in the barn, or in the house. I will refurbish furniture, do some upholstery, interior design part time, and draw and paint. Maybe I can have the grandkids my mom has been jonesing for. And a mutt, a pug, an outdoor cat, a few alpaca, a garden and a bike with a basket. Er, that's a lot for the first one!
2. I can't stand pickles. They gross me out. I'm one of five people in the world who dislike pickles. When I was at the Renegade Craft Fair, they had a Mr. Pickle booth and I had the heebie jeebies. They all think I'm crazy, but I think you're all crazy for liking them! And yes, I now like cucumbers, and even pickled cucumbers. But I'm holding out based on my ridiculous principles.
3. Everything I learned about good customer service and business relates to working as a waitress at an Italian restaurant when I was 17. In fact, my whole philosophy on life could be based on what I learned as a waitress. The most important thing was to prevent fires rather than spend time putting out fires. Not real ones though, although I did get locked in a freezer.... For example, if you get quadruple sat and will not be able to serve drinks for ten minutes, do yourself a favor and acknowledge your guests and let them know you'll be right there. Otherwise, they'll sit there wondering if you even know they're there and get pissed and leave a Spawn comic book as a tip. In my work environment today, I make sure to keep my clients updated with the status of things, especially if there is a delay. As long as they're kept in the loop, they're not going to go pickle-crazy wondering what is going on. It's amazing how a one minute email or phone call can keep people happy, and how many people don't bother to do this.
4. A psychic once told me that I would become a household name, but that nobody would recognize my face. I was excited to hear this. Would I be a ceramicist, a clothing designer, a water polo player? Excited until my dad reminded me that Charles Manson was also a household name. "Daaaaaaad!" said Marissa in a whiny seventeen year old voice.
5. In sixth grade, I won first place in the state of Florida for a 50 word essay describing the utter importance of the podiatry profession. I wrote it quite tongue-in-cheek, and in a rush to finish reading whatever Baby Sitters Club book was in my hands. The intro stated, "If we didn't have podiatrists, people would be walking on their hands every day because of all of their warts, corns and bunions."
Don't forget, you chose to read this! (wink)
xoxo, Mariss
P.S. Why yes, that's a progress shot of Mom's Lace Ribbon Shawl, on the Rittenhouse goat. I love you, lady.
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